Jammy Toast and Hot Coffee

It’s just past 6 a.m. this Thursday morning as I sit down with my strawberry jam toast, the glossy butter layer melting into all the bits and crevices of my sliced sourdough. Jammy sweet and salty, warm and comforting, the perfect accompaniment to my in-process cup of hot coffee. As I sit down at our aged slab table to type, the kettle starts whistling and steaming so back up I go to pour water over coffee grounds. While I wait the four minutes before pressing my pour-over, I glance at our block calendar tucked neatly below our microwave, at the top of the stove. It still reads yesterday’s date. Typically at night once the kids are tucked into bed, I will tidy the kitchen one last time and set the new date, the simple pleasure of turning Tuesday’s block to Wednesday and January 11th to the 12th. This little block calendar has followed us from Eastern Washington all the way across the Pacific to our little home on Maui, and its visual simplicity and design have kept it one of our prized home goods over the years.

But last night I didn’t even try to change the block calendar.

I didn’t tidy the kitchen.

And it’s still a blur whether I tucked the kids in for bed once or twice or four or five times plus.

Our dining table is strewn with puzzles, half-completed note cards to my sweet pen pals, school bookbags and partially done homework assignments. There are crumbs and glasses with half-cupfuls of pink liquid and a thermometer and a syringe with children’s Tylenol leaking out. Remnants of a night that is now day but didn’t quite bring the rest we yearned for.

Two out of three of my children have a stomach virus and fevers. Ken and I were up throughout the night, cuddling children, comforting children, and holding them at arms length as they projectile vomited into the bathtub or sink or across their bed. It was a night where we took turns watching the kids, calming them after another coughing fit or bout of nausea. A night where my husband got really creative with the bedding situation because we don’t own backups on children’s blankets (which I now realize could be great for times like this.) I will confess that I fell asleep between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. at which point Ken took over the rounds of helping our children as they ran into our room crying. Those three hours of sleep really helped me feel more able to enter this day with a bit of strength.

This week has been trying in certain ways. On Monday, I went in for emergency dental surgery as the new crown over my cracked back tooth shattered in the middle. It was so disappointing! Especially because I had the original surgery done recently and besides it being painful and taking a while to be able to chew on that side of my mouth again, now I got to have the surgery all over again. My dentist decided after removing the broken crown, she would drill down more to create a (hopefully) better spot for the crown to stick. So, here we are on Thursday morning and I still can’t chew on that side of my mouth without intense pain. I’m grateful for this temporary crown as we wait for the new one to come in the mail, which the dentist will cement onto my tooth. I would love prayers that this one sticks, both literally and figuratively but mostly literally.

So here we are, me eating jammy toast because I can almost get it all down if I concentrate on chewing with just one side of my mouth and do it slowly. Sipping coffee. Saying my prayers over this day, over my heart, over my beautiful children who I hear coughing and stirring.

Better sign off and check on my kids. How are you today friend? How can I pray for you?

xx